Fatherhood – Gjertsen [dot] ca

Letters to Soren: Welcome

Rob Gjertsen — Sun, 05 Apr 2020 05:08:08 +0000

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Hello Buddy,

I had planned to write this weeks ago but (as you will come to find can often be the case) life had surprises in store for us since you were born.

You were born on a Friday morning, and Auntie Alicia missed guessing the time you would be born by less than 10 minutes. Early that afternoon, Bubbie brought Freya with her to come and meet you, and the first thing your big sister did when she came into the hospital room, was come and give you a gentle little kiss. She was ever so excited to meet you, as were we all.

You met your Aunt Jenn and cousin Gwen a little later that afternoon, followed by Uncle Tim and cousin Georgia. Bestemor, Bestefar, and Auntie Alicia all came at the same time that evening. Uncle Mike met you over that following weekend.

The first picture with 3 generations of Gjertsen Men

The next few days were busy getting used to having you at home with us. We had to take Mommy back into the hospital due to some complications thanks to a botched epidural (something you will learn about when you get older). However, all things considered, within a week the four of us were all home together.

As the end of February came, and March loomed, so did an increase in news-feeds around a virus outbreak that was slowly sweeping across the world: COVID-19

The world today (April 4, 2020) is very different than the world you were born into Soren. A lot of people are sick, and a lot of people are dying. It is a very scary time for many, and because of how this virus spreads, we have had to practice social distancing from people outside of our home.

One day I’m sure, we will tell you stories about this time, as I’m sure many things will change between now and then.

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It’s a Waiting Game

Rob Gjertsen — Tue, 04 Feb 2020 04:19:29 +0000

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Well, we have reached February, and Kidlet 2 will be arriving soon. Over the past few months, we have been preparing and getting things ready. Now, we wait…

And wait.

And wait…

When my wife was pregnant last time, we didn’t know if it was a Boy or a Girl. We were as ready as we could be for whichever surprise awaited us.

This time it is different, and we do know.

So much different, and so much the same.

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The Kidlet is Sick

Rob Gjertsen — Mon, 07 Oct 2019 13:08:44 +0000

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I’m not posting any material of substance this week.

The kidlet came down with a fever Friday, which turned into a cold Friday night, morning into an (undiagnosed) ear infection Saturday (make that 2 ear infections as of Sunday AM).

It is so heart wrenching when they get sick like this, and there’s nothing much you can do. Both ear infections went unaddressed at the clinic I took her to Saturday AM (he looked at both ears), even after me making reference to her countless ear infections. The second one went undiagnosed at the ER, WHERE THEY DIDN’T EVEN CHECK BOTH EARS!!!

Photo by Icons8 team on Unsplash

What I think makes me feel the worst about the entire situation, is when I have to pin her down to put the drops in her ears, and she is fighting me for all she is worth. I know it’s for her own good, but it still breaks my heart.

So I’ll be back next week, with a new blog article that is almost finished. It isn’t technical in nature, and I think (hopefully) it will stir some discussion (at least internally) for anyone who might read it.

Until then, I hope all 2 of you who read this have a great week!

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Letters to Freya: Din Flott-Tante Louise

Rob Gjertsen — Thu, 03 Oct 2019 16:02:03 +0000

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Hello Little One,

In November of last year, we suffered a loss in our family. Your Great-Aunt Louise passed away, aged 95. She was your Bestefar’s oldest sister, the matriarcal figure of the Gjertsen Family at the time, and meant a lot to both your Mom and me.

She met you on three different occasions, the first of which was when you were 4 days old. In hindsight, and after looking through the photos of that day, I regret that we didn’t get any pictures of you with her that day, nor on any subsequent visit.

I visited her two weeks before she passed away. We were able to have a video chat with you and Mommy, so that she could see and talk to you. She loved that conversation.

One of the things she said to me, is she wanted all of us to know how much she loved us all, how proud she was of everyone, and she didn’t want us to forget her. She wanted us to remember her.

Family is everything Freya. It is something that I talk to you about, even now at just 3 years old. We always love each other, no matter what. We can be angry, and frustrated, and even not like each other very much in the moment. But not matter what, we always love each other.

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Learning to be Better

Rob Gjertsen — Sat, 29 Sep 2018 18:16:07 +0000

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My daughter has taught me how to love better. At 25 months old she may not be speaking yet, but I try to make sure I listen to her as much as I can. Each and every day she teaches me something new. I love learning new things from here: how to be a better Father; a better Husband; a better Man.

How can someone so young, and who doesn’t speak, possibly teach me so much?

She sees everything through those innocent eyes, where so many things are still new and amazing. When my (terrible) magic tricks of making things disappear are the things of wizards, and not badly executed slight of hand, her eyes light up and I hear the most amazed ‘Wow!’, that makes my day each and every time.

But it’s not only this. It is the simple things in life that I have started to take so much comfort and pleasure in over the past couple years, and I have her to thank for that.

I no longer sweat the small things like I did before, and she has taught me how to accomplish that the most. As adults within the technology filled world we live in today, we easily get caught up in the business of ‘life’ and forget the simple pleasures that make the lasting memories that children remember forever: throwing a baseball with your uncle; working to fix a fence with your Dad; throwing water balloons at your sister; picking strawberries with your Mom; or how the smell of freshly ironed linen will remind you of your grandmother.

No matter how stressful or crappy my day has been, and as much as I Love my wife with everything I have, a simply hug and kiss from that little girl of mine can melt away everything that might have been bad in my day, as she grabs my hands to go and colour, or play with her toys.

A friend of mine said to me the other day, “I love how you Love Heather and Freya”. I cannot think of many compliments better than that right there. I may not be the perfect husband or father, but I try my best.

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Sick Toddlers Are Amazing

Rob Gjertsen — Fri, 12 Jan 2018 04:58:18 +0000

Read Time:1 Minute, 47 Second

Caring for a sick toddler is heartbreaking. In that child, there is this part of you that exists outside of oneself. You know they are not feeling well, but there is a limit as to what you can do for them. You feed them if they’ll eat at all. You try to make sure they get enough fluids if they will drink anything, to begin with. You try to comfort them and get lots of rest, but that’s only if they will sleep. After that, you need to let their body do the rest.

Here the young parent displays their alertness for all to see.

Over the past 4 months, Freya has been sick a number of times, most significantly she has had 3 ear infections. For someone so young to have that many in such a short amount of time, is a bit of a concern,

Last Thursday, Freya came down with a fever. It went as high as 106.5C and didn’t break for 6 days. It was everything we could do to get her to drink juice these past few days, let alone eat anything of substance. We have been in and out of the hospital, doctors offices, more times than I wish to remember this past week. But finally, today was an entire day without a fever.

Here the Snoopy is seen exhibiting a carefree dance of joy, expressing how happy he is to be an animated character

And now she has a rash…

It can be trying as you’re trying to cuddle or soothe them because of course, they can’t tell you what is bothering them, and heartbreaking also. But all you can do is make sure they are as comfortable as possible and manage their symptoms as best you can, and remind yourself “I kept them alive today” because some days that can feel like an accomplishment in and of itself.

Freya wearing a jacket I wore when I was her age.

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Letters to Freya: Flott-Tante Mary

Rob Gjertsen — Sun, 16 Jul 2017 22:58:10 +0000

Read Time:1 Minute, 13 Second

Dear Freya,

I am writing this to you from the Business Lounge of the Edmonton International Airport, while Uncle Mike and I wait for our flight back home. We came here to meet the owner of a Canadian Tire store that we do business with, but most importantly on this trip, we attended the Celebration of Life for one of our customers who passed away.

Life is an amazing thing Freya, and it is something you should cherish, but most importantly it is something you should live.

This past Thursday (July 13, 2017) your Flott-Tante (Great-Aunt) Mary passed away. Born on June 5, 1925 in Norway, she came to Canada (with my Bestemor, as well as my Aunt-Louise) she was 7 she was years old, and was 92 years old when she passed away.

This might sound silly, because you don’t understand right now and will never remember that day, but telling you that she had passed away was not an easy conversation for me to have with you – but it will be but one of many conversations like that as your father, throughout the remainder of my life.

I hope you grow to have the deep respect I have for those we have lost, and to show them the respect and honour they deserve, and cherish the memory of those we lost with everyday of our lives, by living that which we are given – life.

All My Love,

Daddy.

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Letters to Freya: 10 Months Ago…

Rob Gjertsen — Fri, 30 Jun 2017 23:10:25 +0000

Read Time:1 Minute, 38 Second

Hello Little One.

10 months ago today, your Mother and I had our lives changed forever, and as much as someone who isn’t a parent will say they are ready for parenthood there is truly nothing that fully prepares you.

You might be wondering what I mean by this.

Were we ready? Yes, as much as one can be, except for one thing.

And that is you. I don’t think there is any way someone can every be truly prepared for just how much their child, and in this case for us – you, will completely change their lives.

Freya, I don’t now if I will ever do an adequate job of explaining to you articulately just how much you have changed our lives, and how much you captivate us on a daily basis.

I love putting you to bed at night, because it means I will be waking you up in the morning, and waking you up in the morning is such a special thing, as you will give me the biggest smiles as you are waking up and realize it’s a new day and you are able to get up and start seeing the world and what is happening that day.

2 weeks ago, you crawled up the stairs for the first time. And the second. And the third. And the fourth. And…well, you get the idea. Right now, that is your ‘big’ thing – wanting to crawl up the stairs – and if you aren’t allowed to, you are very upset.

A few other things you might like to know, include:

You have 5 teeth.
You said your first word a couple weeks ago, which was: dog (and you did use it in context).
You are saying ‘mama’ and ‘dada’ frequently, and with much enthusiasm now.
You are still trying to play with Cali’s food and water dishes, which you’re not supposed to.

I wanted to share those few thing with you.

All My Love,

Daddy

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Sleep Training + Noise Cancelling Headphones

Rob Gjertsen — Wed, 28 Dec 2016 21:06:43 +0000

Read Time:2 Minute, 37 Second

We have started Sleep Training. Would it be considered ‘cheating’ if I were to wear noise cancelling headphones at homes while Freya cries?

The change in sleep schedule, as well as sleep training itself, continues. And it sucks.

There is a lot of information available for couples that are expecting, as well as new parents, and you know what? I hate how much there is.

Facebook. Twitter. Instagram. Forums. Websites. Newsletters. Talk Shows. News Broadcasts. Everywhere you turn, someone has an opinion about what bottle works best, what the best formula is, or even what colour sheets will soothe your baby the most – it’s ridiculous.

Everywhere you turn as a new parent, you are bombarded with information and advice. Everyone and their dog, is going to tell you ‘It gets better’, but you will feel patronized the entire time.

So, contained within this post where I complain about information and opinions, will be a bit of irony – for without any further ado, here is my opinion about a couple things.

There are a few Podcasts that I think are really great, and they are:

There is one particular Podcast Episode which I want to draw special attention to regarding sleep, and that is ParentCAST Episode 7 – The Importance of Bed Time Routines. This may seam self evident, but babies need a regimented schedule, and they need consistency (upon this ‘advice’, I think all parents would agree.

My second piece of advice, is to be aware and monitor just how much surfing your significant other does during the day. Particularly if they are the primary caregiver, they will have period of ‘down’ time to fill.

Down Time: A period in which you hardly breathe or move, in fear of waking up the child.

During this time, I find a lot of Mom’s I know end up surfing the internet, most probably Facebook, and conversing on various Mommy groups. This is where the complete avalanche of information starts from. If not taken with a (very small) grain of salt, the fact that your child is 4-months old and still doesn’t know how to recite the alphabet because some yahoo in China told the world their child did it, and now every other child on the planet is ‘slow’. Albeit it an exaggerated example, but it is this mindset that is easy to get into when you’re entire day (and world) is that little ~~monster~~ bundle of joy, where you start thinking your child isn’t ‘normal’. To that, I would simple ask you this: What is ‘normal’?

Lastly my advice for you today, which is to purchase some noise cancelling headphones. You’ll be able to gain some head space, and zone out of from the crying baby – if even for 15 mins (of course, while you are doing this, they are being cared for by someone else). I find myself listening to a lot of podcasts are I put Freya to sleep lately, which helps me deal with the lack of sleep.

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Teething is Fun.

Rob Gjertsen — Tue, 27 Dec 2016 01:15:28 +0000

Read Time:48 Second

Teething. Oh, teething. Any parent who has experienced teething knows the joys of this time. Those rosy little cheeks are not cute, they are warning signs. They mean “If I had teeth yet, I would bite your fingers off – that’s how upset I am”. I am now convinced that this is the translation of ‘rosy cheeks’.

So, if it wasn’t already evident, Freya has started teething. Last night was murder. The only thing we had at our disposal was some Infant Tylenol, so that’s what she got – and it did help. Apparently we had both forgotten to put Oral-gel on the shopping list (guess what I picked up this morning).

In other exciting news, we’re switching Freya sleep schedule and will be starting to sleep train Freya tonight – she gets to fall asleep on her own now. I’m not sure how this is going to proceed, but I foresee a few difficult nights in our very near future.

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